Like the Family Von Trapp, only Mexican

Our dream house turned out to be above a crack den, but it's in a street lined with trees, an
excellent garderie 3 houses down the street, a variety of restaurants below us and easy access
to the trams. We figure if our children become crack addicts, it'll be thanks to watching
too many Johnny Depp dvds and not the nice, quiet people living below us.
If we get through the bureaucracy, finding copies of every marriage certificate, bank statement,
passport, national document and doctors certificate Michael and I have ever accumulated, we
should be moved in to our house within 3 weeks. "More than enough time for you to have a
stress-free pregnancy," Michael said, as we stood in Centraal station and watched our
five year old son hop on the metro by himself, without help or hesitation.

When we'd come back to the apartment and let our 2 1/2 year old in the pots drawer to
"cook us dinner", we received a phone call from my sister, Sarita, who had enthusiastically
taken on the children during our sejour in Los Angeles.
"Guess what Ashley," Sarita said, the sounds of President Bush dancing to the Macarena
in the background, "Joshua and I are expecting."
"Guests?" I asked, my mind busily picking up that fact that Michael's workmates were stopping by.
"A baby. In December, like you."

In my family, things happen in groups. When I found out about this pregnancy, I immediately
wondered which one of my brothers or sisters were expecting their next child at the same
time. The answer came with my brother Javier Jose. The answer usually comes with him.
Javier and his wife Marisa have six children and seem to be trying to solely repopulate
Mexico. While Michael and I have adamantly agreed this pregnancy is our last, we think
Javier and Marisa are just warming up. Michael and I imagine turning on the television
set and seeing the latest Von Trapp Family, live from Mexico!
We've agreed to only watch the local channels from now on.

If the saga didn't get scarier, it was that my brother Lucien had rung three nights previously.
He had rung to see how the move was going, and quietly slip into the conversation that
his wife Sara may be pregnant. He whispered the words, as if that would make them less
real. Lucien is the brother the most removed from our family spirit. Before having his 8
month old daughter Lauren, Lucien and Sara moved to Minnesota, got married, found
a good church, and solidly repented for the life they had led in Los Angeles including
associating with the freer members of our family. Everything about their life was planned,
from Lauren's text-book birth, to her developmental milestones, to Sara's Plan to Get
Lauren into a Good School. Now, it seems, Sara and Lucien have taken the daring road into two children.
"Oh, you'll be in hell for two," I said to Lucien, "Did you know that theres a higher chance
of juvenile deliquancy amongst families with two children?"
I could almost feel Lucien's hand against his pounding heart.
"Especially in Minnesota."
There was a long pause.
"You're going to hell, Ashley," my brother said.